Im Sorry! Blame-Game or Accountability A powerful tool for health as we approach the new year can be to focus on giving and/or receiving only real apologies when we want to heal a rift with a family member, friend, or co-worker. We hear apologies all the time, but I dont think many of them are sincere. An apology has to be real to heal.Trang Lei spent the day helping Martha buy furniture and art for her remodeled living room, but Martha never even offered to buy Trang Leis lunch and so she felt unappreciated. Later when she told Martha she felt hurt, Martha said, Im sorry. I was just so excited about what I was buying that I didnt even think about it. Trang Lei did not feel better. In fact, she felt worse.What was wrong with Marthas apology?Marthas apology came with a built-in excuse, implying that however she behaved was unintentionalbeyond her conscious control. Moreover, Martha has an expectation that Trang Lei will accept the excuse. Thus, Martha perpetuates the origina ... Read more »